Ten Commandments for happy marriage (version for women)

13.8.2009

Even prophet Mohammed knew, you can not see into the women and water melons, so I don’t offer a recipe for lifelong happy marriage. But I am confident that unveiling some of the fundamental differences (surprisingly still unknown to majority of men and women) and adhering to some of the below mentioned recommendations could essentially contribute to peace in the relationship and mutual spiritual growth of both partners. Of course, there are (by birth or women influence) damaged men, on which none of the further applies, but based on official psychology 85% of men are reformable. I offer here somewhat ironically simplified set of rules for understanding and unbiased women. At the same time I hope there is somewhere a wise woman with lot of life experience who would write similar ten commandments from a woman’s perspective (i.e. version for men).

1.      Everything that doesn’t work between man and a woman after first two or three years of living together is just a semantic misunderstanding (and from man’s perspective it is about confused reactions coming out from his uncertainty: he absolutely doesn’t understand woman’s language let alone any signs – when communicating with a man a woman has to be brief and exact).

2.      A man has slightly different brain and body reactions than a woman. She, unknowingly and unintentionally tortures him by requiring his full attention and understanding her every mood immediately after he comes back home from work (deer hunting). No man can match her girlfriend in this case.

3.      What she definitely must not do: never wipe floor under his feet (since he loses the archetypal contact with earth), never talk about him with her girlfriends (not even in a good way), never drag him to shopping, don’t require a regular love tokens again and again even after years (since he has done it already several times) – logically from his perspective to try to hunt the same deer twice is simply a nonsense.

4.      For a man, it is vital to be praised, praised and praised again (from as early as toddler’s age). This is the only way he will grow up to be a real man who will then be able to communicate even with women (and also hold a debate, to lose, to worship women, as well as be able to stand his ground, protect the weaker and impress women).

5.      A boy has to (given by evolution) run, jump, fight, climb the trees, jump in the puddles, compete and rival – it is necessary to let him become the real man. A woman should never forbid him (like a teacher) to run around in school yard or for instance (like his mother or a wife) to switch between tv channels or have a messy working space (for him it is a creative chaos).

6.      Man has a tunnel vision and he really can not see that butter in a fridge (or a hair on top of the sink, or dust in the corner or a hair on his jacket or her suit). He sees woman as a whole (and he’s struck by her beauty therefore avoids direct eye contact).

7.      Man has no idea that a woman has ten times more sensitive skin (her whole body) so if she doesn’t teach him how to touch her, he will always caress her by smacking (preferably a curvy place): he’s merely doing what he would like himself. He needs to be taught by a woman how to make love, how to touch gently or a cuddle (and if she knows how to handle him he will be obedient as a well trained dog).

8.      Partnership love (after first two or three years of being in love) is created and formed by mutual experience and active care of each other (grooming). In case man has a job that requires him to stay abroad for several months or years his wife should follow him (or they’re likely to divorce soon).

9.      Despite all the wishes of feminists, it is not possible to live without men. Despite their differences, men and women are fully compatible, especially on the subtle levels. For example it would be beneficial for a woman to keep her man‘s unwashed shirt each time he leaves home for longer and sniff it every now and then. His pheromones will reliably help to sort out her period and she will be able to be more womanly as a consequence (the same way this will help her at birth giving).

10.  A woman has 30% more connection between the brain hemispheres compared to a man (for instance she is able to feel every pretending or a lie) and it is indisputably her who builds the sexual, partnership and family balance in marriage. It is her who is able to negotiate (although she shouldn’t do it in a man’s way). Every man is exactly the way his woman makes him (the way how she thinks and talks of him, appreciates him or expects things from him).